How I Stopped Self Sabotage To Create Abundance

kimberley-wenya-self-sabotage-abundance

Girl, HI!

Let me set the scene for this morning. It’s Sunday morning (I work well under pressure gals, it’s a blessing and a curse). Listening to Numb by Hayden James - feel free to get this playing whilst your reading this post! Loving it atm. I’m sitting on my balcony from my apartment with clear blue skies, and let me be honest - I’ve said it a couple times before but some of you may still not know that I manifested my ideal apartment in the perfect suburb I desired with the exact vibe and interior I wanted. (Read more about that here, but like, open a new tab so that you don’t lose this post!) 

But I focussed a lot on the newly renovated interior of the space that from the outside it honestly doesn’t look flash at all - it’s v run down looking from the outside (we are talking ugly bricks and peeling paint) but I don’t give 2 angel numbers about it because I’m just so GRATEFUL for this place. And gratitude is the best feeling to rest in if you want to manifest bigger and better things.

Anyway I don’t look out from this balcony seeing the concrete car park and bricks from the 70s on the other side of the parking area. I see the beautiful view of Santorini (Oia to be specific) with a crisp morning breeze on my skin with my oils from my morning skin care routine (tell me if you’re curious on a skincare post bc I LOVE skincare). Because I know I’ll be in Greece next year (2019!!) and one thing that we can do to sabotage ourselves is extrapolating our future based on what we physically see around us. (That’s one secret tip for ya!) - for more, subscribe to my blog to get a new fresh secret every Sunday! 

Okay SO! Let’s get into today’s blog - I wanna talk about self sabotage because it’s a thing I did CONTINUOUSLY in high school and also before that. 

So what the heck is self sabotage?

Well well well, it’s basically when have big dreams and goals but instead of letting yourself freely go forth and pursue them, you either consciously or subconsciously sabotage any opportunities for you to achieve that goal.

And it honestly sucks! Because you’re like “um what are you doing *enter your name*, you know you can do better than this, why are you stopping yourself?” ORRR you’ll down talk yourself like “*enter name* you can’t do this, you don’t deserve this. All your life you’ve never had this before so why would you deserve it now?” Or perhaps you’re in a super competitive field in your job/dream career and you don’t see why YOU deserve to win because you see how fantastic, drop dead gorgeous or stunning the other girls are.

Don’t lie now, we’ve all been there. And part of my passion is to help girls UNDERSTAND how to stop this sucky cycle of self sabo. (Yeah I just made that a thing HAHAHA!)

Let me tell you about my story. In high school I was smart, but not the smartest. I was studious but not the most studious. I was creative, but not the most creative. I would always tell myself that I’m - Oh btw girls I just looked at the time and it’s 11:11!! *magic* - anyway I would always tell myself that I would try hard but not my best for fear of failure. Because the truth is that I was honestly scared and terrified at the fact of trying 111% and yet, STILL not being the best. Because if I didn’t try my best I had the excuse that I didn’t “win” or “come top of the class” because I didn’t try my best. But here’s the reality. Nobody knows whether you tried your best. People only see the outcome, so the only person you are fooling is yourself. We don’t all walk around with iron man-esque holographic meters above our heads telling the world how much effort we are putting into tasks (although that would be… interesting). Often people will assume that you tried your best anyway, so there really is no point to try only 77%. 

The not-good result

So in my final exams in high school, I would procrastinate and wouldn’t study until like a week before the day of. And whilst I got a great score, I didn’t try my hardest because I was FRIGHTENED of seeing a measure of what my true capabilities were. But I regretted that! I regretted not giving 111% of my effort because who was there to point at me and say “aw girl, you didn’t get a better score because you didn’t try your best” - no one. Instead, people only see what there is to see. So you end up with a sub par result, all thanks to your own fears that serve nobody but your EGO (the personal development ego that thrives on fear). 

Conscious vs subconscious self sabo

Now there’s the conscious self sabotage - and that is when you hear yourself talking you down. You literally hear yourself talking yourself out of something and succumbing to your ego thanks to FEAR!

BUT there is also subconscious self sabotage. And this is the real intriguing one, because it can show up in the most curious of ways. An example would be someone being offered a job with a handsome pay and them arguing that they don’t have enough vacation time (when really everything is actually perfect and just as they wanted). What actually rings true is that this person doesn’t feel like they are worthy of this abundance and so they end up ruining this opportunity, leaving them with the offer being taken away. If you want to read more, read The Big Leap by Gay Hendrics. Honestly the best book for upper limits + self sabo.

Another e.g, if you say that you don’t want to go to school, sometimes you might find you fall sick - and so you have to stay home. Another example of subconscious SS. 

This has happened with a girl with TMC before. Before she joined, she had so many fears from her ego consciously even after she decided she was going to join. She flickered back and forth between wanting to join and not joining (and let’s be clear, I love this quote from my 2019 mentor, Lauryn Evarts Bosstick - “I am not in the business of persuading people to work with me" and that is something that I v strongly carry with me). She had fears so deeply ingrained within her subconscious mind that she then ended up subconsciously self sabotaging any opportunity for personal growth and making way on manifesting her dream life by needing emergency surgery before we began the collective - and she wasn’t able to join. 

So in a nutshell, conscious or subconscious - you DO NOT want to be self sabotaging! 

And I’m not immune to this! Don’t get me wrong, I had all the same fears come up for myself when starting this next round of The Manifestation Collective. The thoughts like “what happens if you try hard and barely anyone joins?” Or “what will your friends think?” 

I know many of you girls are girl bosses and entrepreneurs, and let me tell ya - I had MANY MANY fears of doing another round of this program. But when I realised how amazing TMC is and how it changed the lives of the girls in the last round, I decided to just do it. I have done SO much mindset work since being 18, that these days when I see fear, I don’t let it trigger me to self sabotage. Instead I run headfirst into it and give it all I got - coz why not?

And girls - oh boy, did it pay off. This round of TMC SOLD OUT!!! And today we have our first call and I’m SO excited to get these girls manifesting their dream lives!

What’s the worst that can happen? Trying your best also tells the universe that you’re FULLY committed. It tells the universe that you’re all in - girl balls to the wall. And a lot of the time, the universe supports you so that your results are x1000! I speak from experience, girl!

So if you’re experiencing self sabotage, ask yourself - who are you fooling? Stop looking at others and feeling resentment, envy or jealousy simply because you aren’t going out there after your dreams. GO FULL INTO IT, take responsibility for your own life because no one else will. It’s literally up to you girl and I say this from the most loving place because I want to kick you out of PARK mode into DRIVE mode.

Get off ya butt and get out there girl! Want some more fire motivational talk? Listen to episode 43 on The KW Podcast (What the HECK is Quantum Shifting). Anyway, I’m off for a nice morning walk - there is not ONE cloud in the sky and im loving it. In the mean time, second week of exams this week and then we’ll touch base next Sunday again. x

Big love,

Kimberley xoxo

Loved this and want to work with Kimberley? Look out because the KW fav, Raise Your Vibe Masterclass is OPEN for tickets! (We hold it in 2 weeks, replay is avail if you can't make it live!) *SPOTS LIMITED*GET YOUR SPOT QUICK!

Kimberley LooComment